Chelsea Handler

I love a stupid joke, something that doesn't make any sense. ”

I'm into politics, and I love watching the heavier news magazine shows. ”

Don't think about anything for too long. Even if it's off-the-wall, go for it. You'll have a lot more fun in life. ”

Once I turned 40, my whole life changed in the most mature - not boring way but much cooler way. I feel much more like an adult. ”

I like to celebrate my life. I have a life that I'm really lucky to have, and so I want to make sure every minute counts and that I go on great vacations and I share my memories with people that I love and that will make me laugh and lalalalalala. ”

It's a dream come true to have someone else portray me. Because I've been living this life for a long time, and I'm over myself. ”

I've always had a problem with authority. That's why I had to be my own boss. ”

I cannot be Mary Hart - or even worse, Samantha Harris - and stand there with my hip out talking about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes taking Suri to an art museum without making fun of it. ”

I want to educate people and deliver news that isn't just surrounded by Charlie Sheen. I'd like to be able to do the serious stuff in conjunction with the comedy. ”

I'm actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she's really funny. I think she's really self-deprecating, which is something I like to see in a comedian. I think those are really the best comedians: people who can make fun of themselves. ”