Chelsea Handler

Have you ever been sued by a midget? It's not fun. ”

I don't think I'm a good host. I'm not a good host. I'm terrible at hosting. That's my problem. ”

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter. ”

I was tortured, and probably half of it was deserved, but I was bullied - so much so that there were days when I was like, 'I can't go to school today.' I was too scared. ”

I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal. ”

That's my biggest struggle, is maintaining a personal romantic relationship. It takes a lot of effort. ”

I have always maintained a strong opposition to marriage because I would have to be in serious denial to pretend I wasn't born with a personality for divorce. Whatever the opposite of amicable is, that's how my breakups tend to play out. ”

In a relationship, the sum of your parts should equal more than just you by yourself. He needs to bring something new and different to the table to up the ante. ”

You can't fast-forward heartbreak, and you can't rewind love - and that's just one big bummer. ”

I love Sandra Bullock. I think everybody loves her. ”