I even get tired performing standup, which is normally a low-impact exercise in futility but looks hard the way I do it. That's why I take a lot of breaks, often stopping in the middle of a joke to catch my breath, or blame the crowd for not laughing before the punchline.

If everything was good, maybe I wouldn't have a career. I wouldn't have anything to make fun of.

I feel completely fearless when I'm on stage. And also totally fearful. There's the fear that I'm not making a very smart career move sometimes, but there's the stronger belief that these things need to be said.

My goal isn't to wake up in the morning and hurt people's feelings.

In Asia, it's customary to get together with your entire extended family on a regular basis, and it's all rife with politics.

Plot, rules, nor even poetry, are not half so great beauties in tragedy or comedy as a just imitation of nature, of character, of the passions and their operations in diversified situations.

The policeman must be a minister, a social worker, a diplomat, a tough guy, and a gentleman. And, of course, he'd have to be a genius... For he will have to feed a family on a policeman's salary.

You put me in the room with my family and everyone I grew up with, and I'd be the last person that you'd say is the performer.