Ali Wong

I tried being a stay-at-home mom for eight weeks. I like the stay-at-home part. Not too crazy about the mom aspect. ”

You know what male comics can't do? They can't get pregnant. They can't perform pregnant. So my attitude is, just use all those differences. ”

I love being a mom and having two kids. But I've had two C-sections, and I have suffered enough. That's my favourite mantra when it comes to motherhood. ”

I would love to dress like Beyonce: some custom-print, neoprene onesie with no pants. ”

I want to write my daughter something about how much I love her and what I would want to say to her before I die. ”

The biggest downside of L.A. is the traffic and parking tickets. They turn me into Michael Douglas in 'Falling Down.' ”

Having a two-year-old is very hard. I feel like I'm in a relationship with an emotionally unstable woman who is also physically abusive and never gets in trouble for it. ”

A lot of women do stand-up as a gateway into acting, but I love stand-up, and to be a good stand-up, you have to go on the road a lot. It means going to places in America where they've never seen a Vietnamese person in their life. ”

I think I went through puberty really late in life or something. I always looked like a little, sad Thai boy up until I was 26. ”

The life of a true, traditional stand-up is really unappealing for women. ”