Fred Allen

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great. ”

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars. ”

California is a great place to live if you're an orange. ”

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange. ”

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart. ”

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed. ”

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. ”

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is. ”

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer. ”

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. ”