Fred Allen

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals. ”

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you. ”

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. ”

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match. ”

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year. ”

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it. ”

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin. ”

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. ”

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense. ”

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. ”