Bill Engvall

America loves to watch people growing and getting better. ”

My goal is for 'The Bill Engvall Show' to be a show the networks look at and say, 'Ooh, maybe we should get back to the family sitcom.' ”

No sooner my kids leave their friends than they start texting them. And it's all in code in a language I totally don't understand. ”

I have fun on stage, so people think maybe they should, too. ”

I've never said I was the best dancer, and I never said I was a good dancer. ”

I used to hunt and fish. ”

I don't believe there's any reason for a person like myself to own an AK-47. ”

It's fun being Bill Engvall. ”

Standup is a form of therapy. It is OK to tell problems to your audience as long as you are being honest and not boring them. I tell them that I am saving $75 an hour when I talk to them instead of a therapist. ”

I dream of acting with Kevin Costner. I would love to do a movie with him. Not something funny, but a dramatic role. ”