Here's how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don't even see me coming.

The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.

I don't live under the illusion we don't need a military to protect this country.

The bulk of my fans are my age, and I'm aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it's addicting, really.

If you are a small company taking on a big company, you need to have a sense of humor.

There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.

I like to play the comic relief or parts that aren't necessarily comedic but that I can find the comedy in.

Since 'The Office,' everyone has this idea that comedy is only good if it reflects the way people really speak. But that's nonsense - and it's a problem unique to comedy.