The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing.

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.

You are always trying to please people before you get to the public whenever you do anything that requires a corporate body to sanction it.

Stand-up is my favorite thing I've ever done. There's so much independence.

I just made the decision that I was going to try comedy, and if didn't work, then I knew it didn't work. Then I would go back and do whatever. But at least I wouldn't torture myself the rest of my life, wondering whatever would have happened.

I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end as I do from a joke.

It's interesting because with a lot of people who I've met in comedy, it seems not to matter what your background is. In terms of formal schooling - I feel like that's a nineteenth century term - but in terms of where you went to high school or college, or wherever, all that really is irrelevant, I have found, in comedy.

Everyone's life would be improved if they do could one great magic trick. And tell one great joke, play one tune on the piano, and do one great origami fold.