I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.

Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is.

If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.

I started Verite on savings from three years working at Applebee's in Times Square. I was a ridiculously good waitress. I was making more money than my brother, who worked at a start-up.

My favorite pre-Ponzi schemer was known as '520 Percent Miller' because he promised 10 percent returns a week, or 520 percent a year. Of course he was just using new investors' money to pay old investors, and soon he was on the lam.

Wealth brings strength, strength confidence.

The extravagant expenditure of public money is an evil not to be measured by the value of that money to the people who are taxed for it.