Fran Lebowitz

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. ”

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep. ”

Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure. ”

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior. ”

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass. ”

I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood? ”

Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully. ”

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable. ”

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add. ”

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. ”