Erma Bombeck

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. ”

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. ”

Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go. ”

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago. ”

I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes. ”

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. ”

When humor goes, there goes civilization. ”

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother. ”

I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair. ”

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.' ”