Charlie Brooker

I do worry about civil unrest, or complete collapse of society, or having to flee, or Europe falling into a war. ”

I do think that it's a dysfunctional relationship between columnists and commentators, because they both seem to hate each other, like a terrible marriage. ”

Videogames are probably my first love. ”

The sole purpose of a crown is to make anyone not wearing one feel like an insignificant pauper. They're obscene to the point of satire. ”

If you're living in a dystopia, you don't necessarily want to look at another one. ”

MasterChef''s preliminary stages deliver just the right level of almost-drama for viewers feeling shagged out after a hard day's fruitless existence. ”

Apple excels at taking existing concepts - computers, MP3 players, conceit - and carefully streamlining them into glistening ergonomic chunks of concentrated aspiration. ”

I wanna do some more goofy comedy stuff; I really enjoyed doing 'A Touch of Cloth.' ”

Banking, as far as I can tell, seems to be almost as precise a science as using a slot machine. You either blindly hope for the best, delude yourself into thinking you've worked out a system, or open it up when no one's looking and rig the settings so it'll pay out illegally. ”

Short of finding a place on the witness protection programme, you don't get many opportunities to completely reinvent your life. Going to university changes that. Away from home, away from parents, away from anyone who remembers you from school, you can pretend to be far cooler and more experienced than you are. ”