Charlie Brooker

I can't imagine painting my face in a team colour and roaring with delight as a multi-millionaire kicks a ball at a net. ”

There are different groups of people in your life that you behave slightly differently with. You behave one way with your family. You behave in a different way with your work colleagues. You behave differently with your friends from the movie club, your fitness instructor - all subtly different personas. ”

I've never lost that freelance mentality. You can't take a holiday because you're worried the work will dry up. ”

The fashion industry is an immense cultural and social blight that only gets a free pass because its would-be detractors are scared it'll start criticising their haircut. ”

I remember when I realised, as a child, 'That stuff on the TV about nuclear bombs is real! Why isn't everyone running around shouting 'Aaarrgghh'? Why are people still buying bicycle clips?' ”

I can't rank anything. I mean, how could anyone possibly say what their favourite piece of music is? I don't have the ability or the desire to categorise things of that nature. ”

It's a remarkable pace of which things change and adapt, and it's hard for us to keep up with as a species. ”

The logical quandaries thrown up by well-meaning systems are clearly something that I find darkly amusing. ”

Humans will always babble. If someone wants to tweet that they can't decide whether to wear blue socks or brown socks, then fair enough. But when sharing becomes automated, I get the heebie-jeebies. ”

We humans are great at creating tools with unforeseen consequences. For instance, when we invented the wheel, we had no way of knowing we were also laying the foundations for the TV show 'Top Gear.' ”