Bob Mortimer

Families At War' is a show we are very proud of. It was a great show. ”

I hate dinner parties, you know, can't stand them. Friends don't bother inviting me any more, because they know I won't come. I could never think of anything to say between courses - it's a confidence thing, I suppose. ”

I hate every moment of live performance. ”

When you have a house full of children, there's never a quiet moment, so I like getting out in the garden for a bit of time to myself. ”

There is a theory in showbiz circles that mentally you remain the same age as when you first tasted fame, and I think there is a grain of truth in this. ”

Between the age of 30 and going fishing, none of my friendships had any of that magic dust of when you were young. There was a sort of functionality to them, just keeping in touch. 'Oh, I should invite so and so, I haven't seen them for ages. ”

I didn't think I had time for fishing before I fished. ”

I come from an era when if you are told that you need a triple heart bypass it sounds pretty terminal. But I think it's quite a normal operation these days. ”

I come from the era when that continental stuff, the skimmed yogurt and a croissant, was a healthy start to the day. ”

Rheumatoid arthritis generally happens when your immune system attacks your joints, but I've had it attack my iris. ”