Bob Mortimer

My shyness probably defined the first 30 years of my life, really. It's a crippling thing. It can be very lonely knowing that you've got things to say, but you daren't say them. ”

I played for Middlesbrough's youth team. At the age of 16, I went into a shed at the training ground and was told that they weren't signing me on, so that was the end of that dream. Football was my life. I played football when I got to school, football every break and football as soon as I got home. ”

After heart surgery you can go two ways, you can kind of get scared, shrink on to your sofa and keep yourself safe, or you can engage with life again. I probably was in danger of taking the first option. ”

Comedy, if it didn't save my life, certainly gave me a very different life. ”

I'm not a fan of stand-up comedy, personally. But some of them are incredibly skilled. ”

Our comedy is just falling over, funny faces, arguments, all the comedy basics, really. ”

Our new programmes have always just been different vehicles for the same sort of comedy. ”

It's like cooks don't watch cooking programmes - I suppose maybe comedians don't watch comedy shows. ”

The wife and the kids provide my exercise, but I have to be careful because I have rheumatoid arthritis all over my body. ”

We can write idiots quite well. ”