Bob Mortimer

After my triple bypass I got my sheet of healthy and unhealthy foods and I was like, croissants!?! Literally as bad as lard. ”

I hardly do any exercise because of my arthritis and my joints. ”

At one point I was putting 17 sugars in my tea. I know it's unbelievable and I do wonder sometimes what my mum was thinking to allow it. The weirdest thing was that if I had 18 teaspoons it was too sweet. ”

We're not scientific comedians, thinking like, 'Things have moved on, we need to do this, we need to reflect the world in this way.' ”

When they told me I had to have a heart operation, my main memory is standing in my kitchen and thinking what I would really miss was my little tea towel. Not for one minute did I think, 'Oh, I'm going to really miss performing.' The things you're going to miss are your wife, your egg cup, your seat that you sit in to watch TV. ”

I wouldn't wish it on people but there is a positive side to a near-death experience. People used to ask me do you fancy doing this or that - and it was like I had a file of reasons in my head for not doing things. I would riffle through it until I found one. But I've dropped that. ”

I had three bypasses in one go, using arteries harvested from my leg and the right side of my chest. ”

The more cynical commentators on our careers would say that the northern accent has been the basis of our success. There's a certain authenticity to the voice - which isn't to my credit; I was just born there. ”

I sometimes wonder, with the Oxbridge comics, the broadcasters seem to say, at some point, now I trust you to do a documentary, you can be the voice for a maths show, or whatever. I don't think we're ever considered in that way. ”

I look at stuff like the 'The Whole 19 Yards' and it reminds me of my childhood watching shows with Mike Reid and kids climbing over obstacles. ”