Evelyn Waugh

What is youth except a man or woman before it is ready or fit to be seen?

The truth is that Oxford is simply a very beautiful city in which it is convenient to segregate a certain number of the young of the nation while they are growing up.

Professional reviewers read so many bad books in the course of duty that they get an unhealthy craving for arresting phrases.

Money is only useful when you get rid of it. It is like the odd card in 'Old Maid'; the player who is finally left with it has lost.

If we can't stamp out literature in the country, we can at least stop its being brought in from outside.

I think to be oversensitive about cliches is like being oversensitive about table manners.

Perhaps host and guest is really the happiest relation for father and son.

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.

My unhealthy affection for my second daughter has waned. Now I despise all my seven children equally.

We class schools into four grades: leading school, first-rate school, good school and school.

Your actions, and your action alone, determines your worth.

All this fuss about sleeping together. For physical pleasure I'd sooner go to my dentist any day.