Evan Esar

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.