Chris Rock

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.

I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.

A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

When I started out in comedy, it was common knowledge that it took about 10 years to get good. And that was okay because it took you about 9 years to get on television.

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.

A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.

I don't believe I can offend you in a comedy club. I don't believe I can offend you in a concert. A comedy club is a place where you work out material; you're trying material.

If I find a comedy club where no one's camera works, I'll go.

Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics.

Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.

Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.