Chris Rock

I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

I have no idea what my best material is. Different people like different things. I'll say this: The political stuff gets the press, but the relationship jokes sell all the seats.

I love what's happened to me, but when I was a kid, I wanted to be the president of the United States.

I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.

My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.

Every now and then I'm in a situation where someone doesn't recognize me, and I experience racism. Things like not being buzzed into a store or sitting in first class on a plane and having someone ask to see my ticket four times.

Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes.

Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Does having a wife and kids change your act? Yes, but only in the best way. It gives you weight and authority. It also makes you closer to the audience because the audience is married and has kids.