Chelsea Handler

The whole point of remaining on cable is to remain true to who I am. That's a bad, bad girl that got a big job.

The love that comes from friendship is the underlying facet of a happy life.

There's a difference between racism and people making a joke about something. There is true racism going on, and people should be able to identify what that is, comparatively.

You can't have friendships that aren't based on realness.

I'm not trying to be a role model to kids, because I don't have any children, but I do think everyone should have a free spirit.

If you're a member of my family, whether immediate or extended, and you want to see my show, don't.

I'm really into the human interest thing. I really like regular people.

We're seeking out such grossness in human behavior and want such mindless entertainment. 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' and some of these other shows are more racist. Or '16 and Pregnant.' Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious?

Every time I enter a country and have to write down my occupation at customs, I'm like, 'I don't know... Author? Host? Writer? Stand-up?' I usually write 'author' - that's the safest bet.

I'm a late-night host that doesn't want to be tied down by time or television or even hosting.

There's times where you think, 'Gosh, what if nobody ever wants to hear what I have to say?'

Every time I had a book come out, I'm like, 'Is it going to be number one?'