Caitlin Moran

I'm quite British; I've got big, flat feet, and I can't wear heels. I've got very, very pale Celtic skin, so my legs are always a frightening blue color. So when you take out clothes that reveal your legs, shoes that have any kind of heel, no shop will actually take my money.

Our world is afflicted by poverty. Don't spend all this money on clothes!

I can honestly say that my abortion was one of the least difficult decisions of my life. I'm not being flippant when I say it took me longer to decide what worktops to have in the kitchen than whether I was prepared to spend the rest of my life being responsible for a further human being.

Mental health is seen as a massive drag to have to write about - worthy, dull. Something you should 'have' to read / write about.

One of the great things about being a writer/journalist is that my boss loves me to go out and do features on being someone else. I did a feature on Kate Middleton, where I went to an incredible fancy state home in the countryside, put on a wedding dress and posed for engagement pictures with a fake Prince William.

I can't think of anything I hate more than a former punk - they are the most self-righteous people in the world.

I hate that tabloid idea of anybody who is famous having to forfeit their privacy.

People get really scared when women reclaim words, talk about themselves honestly and also make jokes because it's a really unstoppable combination.

If you're not a confident person, pretend to be one.

I never wanted to be famous. It was amusing at first, but now I hate it. I just wanted to be respected by people I respect. And I wanted to be rich. It's best to get rich, then you can do what you want.

I'm so glad I spent 10 years being sad and lonely.

Men have made the world. And they've made a brilliant job of it. I love men. You know, men, you built Paris and you invented The Beatles, and, you know, and you've taught dogs to say 'sausages.' You know, I love your world. Thank you for it.