Adam Conover

My goal as a comedian is to sway people's opinion. It's not my only goal and it's not the only way I measure myself.

In a live setting, the audience is trapped and can't leave. That really makes the audience be with you and laugh more because you're there.

Wading River was a gorgeous place to grow up and I feel very lucky there was a wood by our house where I could go explore when I was a kid.

If it weren't for the fellow union members and leaders who have my back, the barons of the TV industry would happily pay me a nickel a page and spend what would have been my residuals on more caviar to put in their infinity pools.

My goal is to be able to speak to everyone in the country and to be able to make everyone in the country think differently about our political system.

Los Angeles is a rich city; California is a rich state; the United States is a rich country. The money is out there, and Los Angeles teachers are demanding that it be spent where it belongs, on our kids.

Young people are narcissistic. They become less narcissistic as they age, but they become crankier about younger people being narcissistic.

I find that I have a lot of suppressed energy when I'm on a plane for a long period so when I'm holding a fidget spinner, being able to play with it and just sort of run my hands over it helps me out quite a lot; it helps me relax.

I think that veganism is a totally great choice with incredible benefits, but I don't think it's reasonable to expect other people to be vegan or to expect everybody to be vegan. You can proselytize all you want, but being vegan is a pretty intense choice for a lot of people.

Some people are writers and don't ever want to be on camera, some people act and not write - I like writing words for myself to say.

I think people are better for having learned, even if they aren't happier.

Comics are regularly asked to perform for impossible rooms. They're called 'hell gigs.'