Lewis Grizzard

I write 200 columns a year, you know. That means I have to have 200 opinions a year. Sometimes, I don't give a damn one way or the other, but that's my job, so I got to take a side.

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.

Yankees don't understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.

I think people are a lot more sensitive than they used to be, and quite rightly so. I don't think we should be using racial jokes and things like that.

I'd like to know what I could do if I really had the time to spend on writing a book, with no columns or shows to do at the same time.

I was raised to think women had babies, stayed at home, and men worked. By the time I got ready to do it, I thought I had all the answers. Only somebody had changed the questions.

I'm a staunch believer in enterprise, and I'm glad I live in a country where - I don't think some people understand this, but if I work hard, I get rewarded for it.