Lewis Grizzard

The South is the last place with a sense of place.

The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wiggle out of one.

I gave 738 Rotary Club speeches, and it was just driving me crazy, so someone said, 'Why don't you charge money?'

A little irreverence is always important to being a columnist. I try to do that.

I don't think I'm a bigot or a racist. But I have a truck, a Blazer. I drink beer. There are some women I do hate.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

Show business is my life.

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

I wish one time in my life I could do what other writers do... get me a villa in Spain and go there to write a book.

Things are more complex today, and I think humor has changed a a great deal. People are more sensitive today.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.