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Jeff Garlin

Comedian United States 1962–present

20 quotes in the archive

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Why do I want to be challenged or have challenges? That's why I don't go climb mountains.
Jeff Garlin
Parents have got to chill out. Let your kid eat dirt - they're gonna be fine!
Jeff Garlin
My kids have played soccer and baseball and basketball, and the parents who come to games are always saying and doing things that are just wildly inappropriate.
Jeff Garlin
As an individual doing a podcast, you don't get even remotely rich. It's not something to do for money.
Jeff Garlin
I felt very comfortable about myself when I was much heavier. I feel much better about myself from being fit.
Jeff Garlin
There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh.
Jeff Garlin
I like raconteurs; I like conversation. I liked the 'Tonight Show' when it was 90 minutes, I like when people aren't plugging things per se, and they're just in the moment being interesting.
Jeff Garlin
Acting's fine if the script's written by Paddy Chayefsky and Martin Scorsese directs it, but unless you have something like that, I don't really enjoy acting.
Jeff Garlin
I'm a freak for great movies. I love movies.
Jeff Garlin
I do love directing. It's probably my favorite thing that I do.
Jeff Garlin
I'm from Chicago and it's a huge influence on me.
Jeff Garlin
First off, I don't do self-deprecation comedy based on being fat. I would always talk about it honestly. Secondly, I don't care how much I weigh.
Jeff Garlin