I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian.

How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican.

Men are superior to women, for one thing they can urinate from a speeding car.

Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale.

My friends say I make them laugh a lot, so I think that somewhere in me is a little comedic ability that comes out in the most inappropriate or unexpected moments. I did a lot of sketch comedy years ago. That's always in me.

I was a big fan of sketch comedy and cartoons growing up.

Funny is a good foil. Humor is illuminating, and it also gives you power.

I like to joke that if I had a dollar for everybody who slapped me on the back and said, 'Hey Jeb, you're all set,' I'd be retired now.