My job is to entertain you, leave feeling better than when you got there, and try to give you more than you thought you were gonna get.

We ask for way too much stuff - way too much stuff. You got a job making $100 a year and bought a house for $3 million. Talking about, 'I don't know what happened with the payment.'

Most entertainers start at a young age saying, 'I don't want to be normal. I don't want a regular job.'... I think that's something that's innate.

Hollywood's not a progressive place. Everyone likes to think that Hollywood is hip, but it's not hip at all.

My comedy is kind of a counteraction to some of the comedy I don't like. Or things I don't like.

You forget that sometimes comedy is just a big night out for people. Almost every show, people come up to me and go, 'This is the first comedy show I've ever seen,' so you want to do well. If you do horribly at somebody's first time seeing live stand-up, well, you've not only tainted yourself, you've tainted a whole art form.

I joke with my kids, who love history, that I'll be the only governor to be elected twice in his first term.

Honestly, my biggest education regarding improv comedy actually came on the job working for 'My Boys.'