Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

Let them be reassured, it has never been one of our intentions to ban religion in society, but solely to protect the national education system from any conspicuous display of religious affiliation.

Joy is prayer; joy is strength: joy is love; joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.

I read the Bible when I was 12 while studying for my bar mitzvah. I was also reading a lot of Dilbert comics at the time, and I guess the two kind of got fused in my mind. I've always imagined God as an irrational, distractible boss. It's my best explanation for our planet.

Life is only a long and bitter suicide, and faith alone can transform this suicide into a sacrifice.