The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing.

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.

You are always trying to please people before you get to the public whenever you do anything that requires a corporate body to sanction it.

Stand-up is my favorite thing I've ever done. There's so much independence.

Job was astonished at seeing Almighty God so intent on doing good to us that He seems to have nothing more at heart than to love us and to induce us to love Him in return.

Victoria got very involved with the Obama campaign, and I stepped back out of it. I thought it was good for her to get some glory. It's hard being married to a celebrity.

A married woman has the same natural right to acquire and hold property, and to make all contracts that she is mentally competent to make reasonably, as has a married man, or any other man.

I tell you what: when you are getting married to Miranda Lambert, you're going to make time for whatever she wants.