I can't stand going to those sandwich bars where you've got to choose your own stuff, because I don't know what goes together. It does my head in. I'd rather them tell me. I'm not the expert. I haven't spent years learning these different combinations.

Whether it be climbing Mount Kilimanjaro or dealing with your children, life is an adventure, and it's how you perceive it.

Certainly, when I left New Zealand, there was no career there as a comedian. I was doing more live gigs than anyone, and I was maybe doing three a week. Even then, it would often be the same people in the audience, going, 'I saw you on Tuesday, mate!'

I do enjoy walking, but there's got to be a goal at end of it. It's one of the reasons I hate treadmills. All that jogging and going nowhere - it's too frustrating.

I've skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly, and my wife. As a standup comic, it is my job to make sure the majority of people laugh, and I believe that comedy is the last true form of free speech.

For some reason, I had a responsibility to my family and the people who lived around me. I felt that I had to convey their dignity - the way they dealt with adversity and poverty - and their good humor.

I can't speak for every American comic, but for me, a great show is its own reward. Comedy is too subjective for awards.

All my humor is based on destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing in the bread line - right in back of J. Edgar Hoover.