Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

God's children and their happiness are my reasons for being.

It took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and now it's become good business, and God knows how long that'll last. You have to do it night after night after night to kind of make it. I still find myself on 'Piers Morgan' or on some show and I think, 'I hope this is funny.'

When you're singing somebody else's songs, it's just pure joy to me.

Two things I really wanted to be: a stand-up comic or a New York Yankee - or a really funny New York Yankee.

To me, it's always bumpy, and to me, that's the joy of it. That's this game. That's how hard it is in the NFL. Really, what you did last year or 2010, as we know, doesn't factor.