This satire business, that was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. I was certified funny. From then on, I had to be funny - people expected it. Twice the work for the same pay.

I always had this feeling when writing about all politics... that when it's so lopsided, that if a newspaper or news organization has any weight whatsoever, it should automatically go to the other side.

I still get a few dirty looks over the racks in the supermarket, but nobody kicks me in the shins on Water Street. I've made sort of a point, apart from being a social dud, not to fraternize with the people I write about.

I've written just about everything for the sake of putting shoes on the children's feet - and a bottle of gin in the cupboard.