Growing up, I had my mom to look up to; J. Lo and Marilyn Monroe were notable curvy women. But I didn't have anyone with cellulite or back fat telling me they didn't care.

As a professional selfie taker, I know my angles. And I know how to look 20 lbs. heavier and 20 lbs. lighter. If Instagram wants to tell me I've lost 60 lbs. in one week, then damn, I look good.

I remember being told by my very first photographer that if I lost weight, and I was a skinny model, it would do wonders for my career. My mum got really defensive - 'I don't think we will be doing that, thank you so much, goodbye.'

Back in Nebraska, I was known as the fat model - the girl who was pretty for a big girl. My body, like my confidence, has been picked apart, manipulated, and controlled by others who didn't necessarily understand it.

I think of God as, well, sort of a friend or something I need. Like the way I need my fans.

No one warns young people to follow Adam's example. He waited till God saw his need. Then God made Adam sleep, prepared for his mate, and brought her to him. We need more of this 'being asleep' in the will of God.

Whenever we think of Christ, we should recall the love that led Him to bestow on us so many graces and favors, and also the great love God showed in giving us in Christ a pledge of His love; for love calls for love in return. Let us strive to keep this always before our eyes and to rouse ourselves to love Him.

From those to whom much is given, much is expected. I have been given much - the love of my family, the faith and trust of the people of New York, and the chance to lead this state. I am deeply sorry that I did not live up to what was expected of me.