I try to attack all races and creeds, except the Irish. Clearly they are closest to the angels and don't deserve abuse. But the others have it coming.

The true essence of comedy is a baby seal hunt.

Making people laugh is the lowest form of comedy.

I think therapy interferes with the creative process. It takes off the edge.

I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.

I want to write the reparations joke that makes people go, 'Yay! I'm so happy!' It's easy to go onstage and just make fun of all the 'isms' instead, but we can't all be Jeff Dunham. Although that pays very well... it pays way better to be Jeff Dunham than it ever paid to be George Carlin or Lenny Bruce.

I live for comedy. I've been doing it for such a long time. Comedy is hard in itself.

I love doing comedy, and I don't get a chance to much. I get to play lots of serious people, and killers, and people with a lot of... sheriffs. Good people and bad people, but lots of drama, and to get a chance to be genuinely silly is a great treat for me.