I'm a big Knicks fan, and I will tell a professional basketball player that they suck because they didn't do what I wanted them to do.

I feel like most standup comedians do it the way I did it, where you just go to open mics and cut your teeth. Sketch and improv - they take a lot of classes. It's not unusual, the way I did it. It's just that, with standup, no one knows how to start because there's no book for it; there's no place you can really go.

Yes, I believe in equality. But I don't like the word 'feminist,' because it's such a rational belief to think that women are equal to men, and I'm a rational person. You shouldn't be labeled for being reasonable.

When I was little, I used to suck the candy coating off of Advil and spit the white part back in the bottle.