I am a professional footballer, and it's a game where the coach decides where you can be most beneficial for the team. As long as I am attacking, I am happy! I know what Jose Mourinho decides will be best for me personally and for the team.

I think the greatest goal I've ever scored is the one against Liverpool. It was amazing for me, and it really made my name in the Manchester team.

If I was to become an icon, then I'd be very happy. I'll need to score a lot of goals, and the team will need to pick up trophies, though.

Goal scoring is what I do, and it's the thing that makes me most happy, so I'm really happy inside. But I'm just not the sort of guy who shows that sort of emotion on the outside too much.

Before I went to a meeting at the 'Harvard Lampoon,' I had no idea that there was even a comedy magazine at Harvard, let alone that you could write comedy potentially for a living.

I feel really lucky to get to do comedy, and music, at all. I want to do as much as I can.

I was depressed as a child. I found it hard to make friends. My favourite thing was locking myself in the bathroom and practising comedy routines.

The best comedy, I feel, comes in a drama because it balances each other out.