I have a very good memory for scripts. I can watch a show I like once, then remember about 90% of the script. But ask me who was in it, and I wouldn't have a clue.

Political correctness is as exploitable as any other progressive ideal, but its aim is to stifle the incessant noise of those who flap their careless lips without a thought about those they might offend and why that might be important.

The basic function of a comic is stand-up because it's so straightforward and simple. If the audience don't laugh, you didn't do your job. I've had some audiences where I didn't care if they laughed or not because they were either too drunk or stupid.

I'd rather be happy than right.

The Pope loves everyone, rich and poor alike, but the Pope has the duty, in Christ's name, to remind the rich to help the poor, to respect them, to promote them.

When I was a kid, everyone wanted to be in a band - that was the path to girls, adulation, money.

Laughter, and the broader category of humor, are key elements in helping us go on with our life after a loss.

I stand with the millions of seniors and working people who depend on Social Security and who expect the money they put in to be there for them when they retire.