The trouble with kingdoms of heaven on earth is that they're liable to come to pass, and then their fraudulence is apparent for all to see. We need a kingdom of heaven in Heaven, if only because it can't be realized.

My opinion, my conviction, gains immensely in strength and sureness the minute a second mind as adopted it.

He was not only a bore; he bored for England.

This horror of pain is a rather low instinct and... if I think of human beings I've known and of my own life, such as it is, I can't recall any case of pain which didn't, on the whole, enrich life.

Early on, people told me I was making Chinese people look bad. I've been living with this accent. I had already been doing standup for a while. I knew my voice already. I myself never wanted to make my accent the butt of the joke. I never want it to be, 'I'm laughing at your accent.'

My humor is channeling everything through my brain. For example, when I talk about something, it's how Richard Lewis feels about it. I'm a storyteller. I do a lot of free association.

The secret of comedy is don't grow up. That's why some comedians are a nightmare, because they never grow up.

I like grown-up comedy, where it's about character and attitude and life as opposed to obvious gross-out and jokes.