I really detest movies like 'Indecent Proposal' and 'Pretty Woman' because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal and really that's such a small part of it.

I'm all over the place, and I consider myself a bit of a scrounger: 'What will I do next, so I'm not broke?'

I want to be so famous that drag queens will dress like me in parades when I'm dead.

I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.

If someone says, 'Hey man, I love your album, it really got me through a breakup, but I downloaded it for free,' I'll be like, 'Good! That's good!' Maybe he didn't have the money for the album, but if he still listened to it, and it's an important part of his life, that's all I can ask for. I don't want his twenty bucks.

For my first gig, I got $75. I could make money being funny, so I pursued it as a career and have turned it into a lucrative business.

The mutual fund industry provided the money for Intel and Motorola and Hewlett-Packard to crush the competitors.

Individual investors beware: If you're constantly worried about a crash, you're probably making some big mistakes - and losing a lot of money in the process.