I do have a place in my heart for animal shelters because the job they have is impossible - so many animals that need to euthanized because don't have homes for them.

I grew up watching stand-ups and thought it was so entertaining and unique - you didn't see that as a job description anywhere.

Never wear a red t-shirt to Target. I enjoy helping people, but not every two minutes.

I lived in Germany from when I was 6 until I was 10, so, of course, I played soccer. When I came back to the States, nobody played soccer, and none of the schools taught German, so I couldn't continue to excel in those categories.

If consciousness can function independently of the body during one's lifetime, it could be able to do the same after death.

It is vain for the coward to flee; death follows close behind; it is only by defying it that the brave escape.

Whether I'm writing a novel about a guy mourning the death of his father or whether I'm writing a show about people killing each other, you want to hear characters speak and be funny and witty.

I used to starve myself to death.