Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

When I want to make someone laugh in real life (as opposed to when I'm on stage where I tell one-liners), I tend to do prop comedy. For example, if I'm at the supermarket with my husband, I might put 16 bags of marshmallows in our cart when he's not looking, or if I'm trying to make a kid smile, I'll put my glasses on crooked.

I'm a little weird that way. I don't really know how to express my happiness.

Happiness is dependent on self-discipline. We are the biggest obstacles to our own happiness. It is much easier to do battle with society and with others than to fight our own nature.

A happy life must be to a great extent a quiet life, for it is only in an atmosphere of quiet that true joy dare live.