I'm a Slovak. And when I was growing up, I believed that I was Czechoslovakian because of what Russia did. They came in and took two separate countries - Slovakia and the Czech Republic - put them together as one.

I'm against the draft. I believe we should have a professional military; it might be smaller, but it would be more effective.

Our military doesn't defend our American people. Our military is the strong-arm muscle of corporations.

I think they should let gays in the military because we are the United States of America. And if a gay person wants to serve his or her country, why should they not be allowed to?

I was a huge fan of comedy and movies and TV growing up, and I was able to memorize and mimic a lot of things, not realizing that that meant I probably wanted to be an actor. I just really, really amused myself and my friends with memorizing entire George Carlin or Steve Martin albums.

But my problem was that I did an hour for Comedy Central and nobody seemed to care.

Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.

When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.