It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!

The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.