Talent is always more interesting - ambition is not interesting. If you have talent, you have to find ways of expressing it, but you may not be a success in the world's terms.

I never think in terms of target audience. I try to write what makes me laugh, so I'm the target audience. I guess I just hope there's another person in America like me.

I listen to the audience and try and bounce with them. All audiences are different. But they are all homo sapiens.

At least in America, you have freedom of speech, which is a good thing. It's just a question of whether you're allowed to use it on 'Fox News'.

I've been busy for years, buying land, often under pseudonyms, and planting trees on it. All the money is going into it when I die - and in the end I'd like to think that it will be 20 to 30,000 acres.

If being in a band was my job, then I would quit. This is not a good job. A good job is in financial management.

For most people who are transitioning, surgery isn't really a financial reality. So to place these goals of 'in order to be happy with my body, I must do this thing' is really damaging to yourself.

I was never sloppy with other people's money. Only my own. Because I figure, well, you can be.