Dane Cook

As a comedian, I am obligated to tell you the truth, my truth. To share with you my beliefs, my perspective. And I think that we forget sometimes that that's the oath that comics take, that we will go up and share everything - the irreverent, the scary. ”

I'm completely ecstatic when a woman has own back story and brings something to the table and has a real strong kind of independence. ”

I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges. ”

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you. ”

I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup. ”

My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now. ”

When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?' ”

My mother had a lot of phobias. She's pregnant with me and she was a very phobic person. So I was born into phobia, basically. ”

Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke. ”

I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people. ”