Chris Gethard

New Yorkers will be rude, but at least they do so out of the rationale that everyone around them is always slowing them down. Los Angeles, I learned, is a city full of people who have the personality of the coolest pretty boy from your eighth-grade class. ”

Getting help for my issues was one of the hardest things I've ever done, because when I get dangerously sad or manic, those feelings seek to perpetuate themselves. ”

No aspect of my brief and mild fame actually made me happier. ”

I had bedbugs in 2005. I felt like a leper. Worse than a leper. At least lepers had a colony they could go and live in with other people who empathized. I instead had friends stand up from tables and walk out of restaurants when I told them I had bedbugs, because they were afraid I'd transfer the bugs to them. ”

Bedbugs have never been cool, and bedbugs will never be cool. ”

When I really have it together, I think I successfully pull off looking like the exact middle point between Macklemore and Ron Howard, only with a much bigger forehead than either of them. ”

I classify myself as a comedian, but I'm one of those comedians who also acts so that I can split the difference and feel insecure about both. ”

I just really remember the feeling of being a younger comedian who was kind of an outlier for being experimental and weird and how that could feel lonely or hopeless. ”

If you are dating someone in New York City, and they invite you over to watch a movie, they don't really want to watch a movie. ”

I remember the people who mentored me, and I just love being able to do that for other people. ”