Carlos Mencia

The cool thing about going to Vegas is that it's kind of like visiting a bunch of cities all at one time. All the shows and great restaurants leave you with a lot of options. ”

The word 'epiphany' gets thrown around, but truly, the first time I stepped on stage, I had that moment of clarity. I realized God gave me a gift, and this gift is to make people laugh, and this gift should not be wasted on trying to configure some electrical components. ”

The United States of America on our worst day is better than any other country on their best day. Period. End of story. ”

You know what, I stopped doing 'Mind of Mencia' because it got hard, and there was a lot of fighting, and it was just time to move on. ”

I have been recording every single one of my shows since 1994. Every single joke I've ever done is on a hard drive. I can tell you when I wrote every joke I wrote. I can tell you the first time I said it, when I made it different, when I made it better. ”

I've dated many women at the same time. But I told them. I didn't keep any secrets from them. ”

The easiest thing to do is put someone in a file of somebody you already know. 'Hey, you remind me of Sam Kinison' or 'You remind me of Richard Pryor.' That's fine, because I know that's the process. Eventually, my own file will be created. ”

My favorite place is Maui. It's almost perfect there - the people, the weather, just everything. No matter how busy you are, when you get to Maui, you chill and relax. ”