Carlos Mencia

I'm a spiritual person: I believe that if you read the Bible, you get what you want from it. But, when you actually read it, you see the beauty, spirituality, the joy and love, and what makes us godly. ”

I choose to live in a positive world and a positive presence. ”

In this pessimistic world, especially in America, a positive outlook is very necessary. ”

If the worst thing happening to Middle Eastern people is that Carlos Mencia is doing a joke about them being stopped at airports, that's a pretty awesome state of affairs. ”

It's a pleasure to be doing a show for Comedy Central. Traditional networks would cast me as the head of a household with 16 children, which I find extremely offensive because there are 18 kids in my family. ”

I'm a teacher and a philosopher by nature... In the end, I'm trying to teach people to live a better life. And if I can do that on top of entertain, then I leave the world a better place. ”

I don't want to go on stage with anger. And that's why I worked so hard to look within and change myself and evolve. ”

If you don't like your job, then change it by getting some better skills. Until then, shut up and get my burger with a smile, like in the commercials. ”

We don't grow as human beings from good things happening. We grow from failures. ”

Shows I've done in war zones are the greatest. The first time I was in Iraq, I kid you not, I felt so uncomfortable having the troops say, 'Thank you.' It's so deep and heartfelt. ”